Part one: loss · helpless on the evening of the little corner, with a touch of a surplus sleeves scholarly, my pale fingers, gently groping through that a few curls of yellow Song, quietly listening to the TV drama in the mountains in January my heart sounded slow.The growing dusk, the night will hang down, destroy residual autumn leaves fall, I wrote a post in sad confusion, which was so pale, yet so helpless. Night depression, heart also depressed.No one looking at the night sky solitude, finally, began to cry, began to daydream, begin looking for.Laugh rivers and lakes tour traces the decade, air negative young head.Copper camel lanes, Yin situation transitory man, mind yo!Wine cold poem residual West Side, Southland positive Kiyoaki.Sword sad look, nowhere to go trick boat. Tomorrow horizon road is long, ask who stay Chu Pei, Nongying Zhongzhou?The number of heroes and heroines, past and worry about pitching.Nanxiao Luozhang by the faint light, short-lived hate hard to break!Falling inertia, armored cavalry, fight burial hills! With a loud sigh youleng, a “Bashengganzhou” sounded lonely in the night sky, as if singing Resentment in the light of the soul, whisper the Red helplessness. Faint sound of the piano, brushed aside my own weaving dreams, scouring cohesion in my mind reluctantly.But I understand that this is just futile.Because I know in my young life, there is an invisible force in a dominate me, let me in the future is full of confusion, filled with frustration.Sits alone in this cold window, lit a cigarette not smoked.Looking at the smoke rising gradually, from an attempt to find the meaning of life, to unlock the long-troubled me confused and suffering.Ethereal souls, independent people worry.Kiyoaki how many, how many lonely.Looking back on the years, a pure perception, swimming in dust. Looking at the sky bleak water, there is suddenly an unknown liquid flow down, falling helpless and anxious thoughts, the soot instantly turned into a ray, gone with the wind. Alone shuttle noisy Red, the bad sense of the future, now, before all.Given a choice, I only own the original to wash away one of the “dirt” start over. Part II: bent anxious night is not deep, sleepy, but still can not sleep in a noisy cars, look out the window lights dim.This is the second no-seat tickets to travel, with the last difference is that this is a man’s lonely journey.To see so many little dense mass of unfamiliar faces, for the first time feel a little scared, never had the feeling.A man sitting on the train many times, most of them are home, this car made me feel kind of wandering.Suddenly remembered a Liqun tobacco advertising.Life is like a trip, do not care about the destination, but the scenery and mood of the scenery along the way.So crowded and noisy cars, I did not see the mood of the landscape.I have not forgotten I was wearing high-heeled shoes, eleven hours on station there is no danger of fainting or feet off.I have not forgotten the last line of Wenzhou is how to survive, and even a pad of paper to not give us.There are hateful to push to the selling car, very scared.Think quickly time passes, half a year, I seemed unaware.Sauna woman across the network with one or two children, became a stool with a suitcase.Rare occupied a small clearing, really envy.No intention to listen to her chat with others soon to say, only four hours.To be honest, there is some intentional eavesdropping, she hopes to get off early.I can justifiably occupy her “poised” the.Feng Shui is to say a bit too much, how to stay in this car all makes a kind of sense to not breathe, and powerful Mende.I have to wait a terrible four hours, or, at least as well as expected.”Bench, a five dollars,” like most of the dark gleam of light, I calmly waited.Unfortunately voice broke at the link between the cars, and not, as I had expected gradually clear.Disappointed but not despair, looked blankly pulled tight hands of ten dollars. ”How this reshaping, six carriages there is no one place to sit,” the staff should be on the train.”There really such a big difference, that we can be full of people.”I think to myself, really I want to look at.We have maintained the original standing posture, as if his words are so untrustworthy, or so they would like to settle down, do not want to even move the.I think they see me listening to the man’s words really gone, my heart will not laugh at me stupid.Maybe people have no energy to laugh as early as the others, one by one listless.Wrong to open a joke, like fish, fancy mercy on the chopping block.Whether it is not true, I want to see, at least in this situation so I think that’s her poor. He really did not lie, here is indeed loose and more.Aisle who just a few sparse, of course, without his so-called empty seat no one sitting.I find it carefully, hoping to slip through the net.Sure enough, heaven pays off, “Excuse me, someone sitting right here?””I think should not be.”I sat down, hoping no one to wake me up when we go from sleep. Part three: always thought that loss of youth, childhood dream will be realized one day; always thought, all the feelings are like yesterday; always thought, bright clothes will never fade.It came on the tail of youth he realized that everything is a lie. Early in the morning, there are always a few birds twittering Zhaochou nothing to stimulate numb your nerves so you no sleep.Crooked carrying only a pen and put the bag, I do not understand why no equipment but also back a package; disheveled, messy and perhaps also with a surge of US modern art right; with a headset, which I do not know who placed the song; a thought crossed my mind, is so dirty!So what can universities do not look like you’re such a thing, loneliness, emptiness, cold. Smug high school, college depressed, well, that’s life.The ideal is always good, the reality is cruel reality mercilessly trampled underfoot the ideal, the ideal is also back to grimace in pain and said: Come on, put on top of the left foot. Suddenly, a drop of dew dripping from the trees, between Qinru hair, cold feeling people want to cramp.I looked up.Watching Fengyun yellow GE trees, green leaves mixed with haggard yellow leaves, branches stretching all sides.Hey, obviously already old, why he has assumed a vigorous appearance?People can not help but want to kick it, pretend to be installed ah! A leaf falling from the trees, is the middle of the green, surrounded by yellow began.Watched it falling marks, I somehow think of a book called “curve of life” of books, is it also going to spiral leaf fall?It makes me can not help but come up with a mobile phone to film it.Unfortunately, in the air and hit a two turn was no smell of an blown away.Really do not know why the writers who can always smell the mud mixed with grass in the wind, and I have nothing to smell, or occasionally floated the smell from the toilet from girls who taste. My eyes still did not leave the patch of leaves, even though I thought did not stay in the patch of leaves above.In fact, many times our bodies are beyond the control of our consciousness, big most of the time is controlled by the unconscious of Freud.It sounds really scary, and sometimes we do not have the ability to determine our behavior. Patch of leaves are still falling, to speed up the pace of people around the Bay to the classroom, it may be close to class.Should I look out of cell phone time, then ran to the classroom, like most, like, even sleeping in class play phone melon seeds, do not be clinging to the end of a failed teacher.In fact, in many people’s minds university is three words – not hanging branches.My heart think so, but my pace is still slow Teng, did not see the time, eyes still on the patch of leaves. He drifted patch of leaves on the lawn next to the float and float back later, no direction, no purpose.No applause did not laugh, except that I double bored eyes.So he still falling, occasionally with the help of the wind and drifted up for a while.If not, may have landed it, I think. Perhaps I was such a leaf of it, came to this world but without a purpose.The struggles have been ups and downs have become no meaning, why should school?Why work?Why go to college?I seem to do every day things are meaningless.Bid farewell to the innocent childhood and busy high school until college, when about to bid farewell to the youth, when about to enter adulthood, a suddenly anxious confusion.Is youth is beginning finally ended in confusion in ignorance? I think of a word, “role confusion.”.I do not know who he is, where it comes from, where to go, what role it should play, deep into a state of confusion.Like piece of leaf, like, I do not know why falling, where will fall, eventually what will become.Loneliness, emptiness, disorientation.Youth is hasty this book, because it did not even have thrust. I know that no matter how we live, and ultimately when we look back and found that youth still in remorse.Years like the wind, blowing forward when you are in anxiety, the next time you’re blowing remorse.But I still want to know a shattered my whole system, much like Erickson said, to find their own identity. I stared at the patch of grass stuck in between the leaves, lost in thought.Forget time forget but also class.”Ding..Tinker…..”Class, I suddenly look back toward the classroom. I did not find my way, as I did not anticipate falling leaves traces.I do not want to understand the meaning of my existence, but they understand the meaning of youth. Youth, with an almost cruel way to remind us: to grow, we need to find their own.